Farewell

My journey on the road to searching myself and who I am, is almost about to reach its climax. It all began exactly 2 years ago with the death of my grandma, and now, on the very same date she passed away, I am about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Hajj.

It's a little weird how the initial date of my departure, was to be on the 9/10th of September. But the date, due to visa issues, was moved back to the 19th, the very date, 2 years ago my grandma died. It is as if, Allah has chosen this date, to remind me of where and how my journey began, to remember death as I embark on what could be a life changing experience.

Firstly, ever since the day we buried my grandma, there has not been a day that we have not visited he grave. Snow, rain, sun whatever the weather, we have always visited. It has always felt to me, because of these visits, that she has never truly left us. For the first time in exactly 2 years, I will not be visiting her grave for an entire month! Not going to say it won't feel strange, because during today's visit, I could already feel that I would miss it.
Visiting the graveyard gives me a sense of escape from the world. It reminds you of your ultimate destination and I would urge anyone, even if they do not have a member of the family that has already deceased, to frequently visit graveyards. Life to me, is death. It is death that has made me change my way of lifestyle and living, arguably for the better. I can say today, I am a better individual than I was 2 years ago in all aspects of my character and personality.

"When Ibrahim (peace be upon him) completed the structure of the Ka'bah, Allah commanded him to call the people to Hajj. Ibrahim (peace be upon him) pleaded, "O Allah! How shall my voice reach all of those people?" Allah told him that his duty was only to give the call and it was up to Allah to make it reach the people.
Ibrahim (peace be upon him) then climbed Mount Arafat and called out in his loudest voice, "O People! Verily Allah has prescribed upon you Hajj, so perform Hajj."

Allah revealed in Surah Al-Hajj, (22:22)

"And proclaim the Hajj among mankind. They will come to thee on foot and (mounted) on every camel, lean on account of journeys through deep and distant mountain highways."

I'm not going to sit here and say I'm really excited, in fact I am petrified! To imagine all these centuries later, I am on the very verge of responding to that call, is quite daunting and to imagine the scale of what I'm doing, makes everything seem so surreal! 

"Here I am O Allah, (in response to Your call), here I am. Here I am, You have no partner, here I am. Verily all praise, grace and sovereignty belong to You. You have no partner."

The words that will echo around the whole of Makkah and to be a part of that, will be magical.
In essence, I have no idea what to expect. To stand in the very places where our Prophet s.a.w once stood, and where the revelation first came down, I am utterly lost for words! There are so many places I want to visit and see and so many things I want to do, I just don't know where to begin!

And of course one of the most important things to me during this journey, is the chance to receive ultimate forgiveness! I wasn't the guy who you all may thin I am today. I have had a very dark past; one I would do anything to rectify. Not only will this journey allow a fresh start, but Allah is providing me with an opportunity for me to start afresh! No one, including myself can hold me back from my past, and all I can focus on is my future! I have met some amazing people in my life; some who I have no contact with anymore an some that I do. As for those who I don't have contact with, they will all be in my duas without a doubt and as for those who I do have contact with, I hope you all remain in my life because one thing I don't deal well with, is losing contact with those whose company I love most. And believe me, I am very cautious about the company I keep.

But all in all, this blog post has been a bit all over the place I know, but from the bottom of my heart, I hope you all make dua that this journey will be a successful and life changing journey for me, one that will help me become a decent person at the very least! You will all be in my duas and if I do have free wifi at the hotel I'm staying at in Makkah & Medinah (I expect to!), you shall all be receiving the low down from Saudi!  

Who knows, this may be the last journey of my life, farewell..

Aspire Swim Challenge

As Muslims, we are told to give charity in abundance. Help the orphans, the needy, the travellers and anyone who requires aid. Often, we help our own (fellow Muslims), that are in distress. But what we are also told to do, is play a part in our community. Our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w was always a key figure in his community even before receiving knowledge of his status as 'The Messenger of God'.

When the Quraysh were rebuilding the Ka'baa, a dispute had taken place. Cutting a long story short, the chiefdom's of the different tribes decided to sort the dispute out by listening to the opinion of the next person that came inside the area they were discussing the matter at. It was none other than our Prophet s.a.w that walked in. At this point in time, every sub-tribe felt a sense of happiness that it was him; goes to show how much they valued him as a member of the community to make a fair decision and outlines the community figure he was.

Fast forwarding to our times, we must also learn from his example and aim to play a part in our own communities. Not only will it help you become a part of your community but it helps  with spreading the message of Islam through actions. When you are a respected figure amongst your peers, more value is placed on what you say and do. People begin to look up at you. Imagine if someone was to ask, "What motivates you to give so much?" And you were to respond with, "Islam".
Imagine how much people would want to know about Islam and its teachings simply by playing a part in your community!

Through the example of our beloved Prophet s.a.w, I want to try and emulate how active he was in his community. And one way I want to do this, is through the 'Aspire Channel Swim 2014'.
This swim challenge involves swimming 22miles from September 8th - December 1st, which would be equivalent to the length of the English Channel! It works around 118 lengths a week to the pool I will be swimming at. I'm a fairly good swimmer so I thought why not? I have never done anything of the sort before so support would be greatly appreciated!

"Every eight hours, someone in the UK sustains a spinal cord injury. There is no warning, no preventative medicine, and no time to prepare. A spinal cord injury can happen to anyone at any time. Aspire is a national charity that works with people with spinal cord injuries to create opportunity, independence and choice."

If you would like further information about where your money would go, should you decide to sponsor me, then you can simply type, 'Aspire charity' into Google and everything will come up. 
I really want to lay a part in my community and I need your support! To sponsor me you can follow this link, https://www.justgiving.com/TheFursaansAspireSwim/

or simply text, 'FRSN99' followed by, £1, £2, £5 or £10 to 70070!

E.g. 

FRSN99 £1 to 70070

I aim to raise £1,500 so support would be greatly appreciated! Even £1 can go a very big distance!

Leading by example

As an individual who is always aware of his surroundings, I often listen and observe everything that is going on around me. A common aspect of today's society I have noticed, is kids swearing. All the time like second nature! But the problem lies not with the kids, but at home.

I strongly believe, if you allow your kids to use foul language at home, where primary socialisation takes place, it will eventually spiral out of control. Give it a good couple of years down the line and the parents will be saying, "How I wish my kid was better". It all starts at home.

Being lenient and soft is one thing, but being a bad parent is another. Too many people do not discipline the youth. I have often encountered rude kids who just love answering you back, whilst at work. The cheekiness is beyond comprehension at times! You end up thinking to yourself, is this how they always are?

The other day at work, I was walking past a family with kids of which the eldest was probably around 6. All I heard was the father use the word 'crap'. I mean it's not a rude word, but is it a good word? Should elders not set an example? We often complain about disobedient youths, but what about the elders in society? Respect isn't just given, it is earned. This doesn't just apply to parents, but elder siblings too. Younger siblings always look up to elder siblings and it is a fact. If any of you guys are elder siblings, please look out for the example you set.

Technology also influences highly. Kids of the age of 3 know how to use smart phones better than I do! And I have witnessed, the usage of technology, ruining the mouth of a kid. Watching Youtube videos and learning swears and then when talking to others, of course, showing what has been learnt. It's never too late to change, but what is ingrained in you from a young age, pretty much stays with us for most of our lives so isn't it better to stop it before it starts? If you are aware of your siblings or children using technology, look out for them and check what they are doing and if it is any good. It is not controlling, but rather being protective.

As fouls language affected me for most of my younger, ignorant days, it is a subject that I have strong views about. If you're reading this and thinking, "Yes, I do use a lot of foul language", know, that it is never too late to stop. Foul language only degrades your character in front of others. No benefits whatsoever.

Controlling anger

This blog post is well overdue as it involves an incident that occurred nearly two weeks ago now. It was something that had me instantly thinking about what I had done and the benefits that came out of the situation.

As some of you know, I am a Lifeguard for the City Council on a part-time basis along with my studies. On this particular evening two weeks ago on the Tuesday, I was working. As it is currently the summer holidays, swimming sessions tend to be rather busier than during term time. This particular session, had at least 50+ people! There was absolutely no room to swim for anyone.

A customer moved over towards me to enquire about something. He enquired about placing a lane rope out for swimmers who wanted to swim lengths. As it wasn't a lane swimming session, we are bound by rules enforced on us not to put lanes out. So I simply said to this man, that we couldn't put the lanes out and told him the reasons. He moved away but swiftly returned once more. Asking the same question again but a little more aggressively, suggesting that we were not being fair in what we were doing. Giving a similar response, when he came the third time, demanding lanes once more in a forceful manner, I became a little flustered. Raising my voice, I told him if he didn't want to swim with the kids around, to just leave! As he moved away, I muttered "Twat!"

As soon as those words came out of my mind, I thought to myself, what have you said? What was the need for that? How have you benefited from it? If you guys don't know, my mouth used to be really filthy a couple of years ago. I used to swear a lot and it was really constant. for almost a year now, I have been attempting to change my vocabulary and am 99% free from that swearing mouth I had. Currently still trying to better myself, this moment put me 10 steps backwards in my goals.

You may think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hole but truly, sinning is so easy we just don't think about it. A couple of years ago I would have thought nothing of this. But the smaller you make a sin, the bigger and bigger it will only get. And the point of my narration is to tell you all, we should really grasp a hold on our anger. I mean I don't get angry angry and the last time I actually got angry was around 5years ago! But we all have moments when things slip through our mouths and everyone can relate to this. We might think, one phrase isn't a lot, but add up all your phrases and just see for yourselves how plentiful they become.

A little side note. I have a friend from Twitter who has climbed up Ben Nevis in aid for Gaza on the Sunday that has gone. An additional £70 is required to reach the target levels of funds to raise. Please donate and keep the Ummah in your duas. Our help should never come to a standstill! To donate, follow the link below;
https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/humairaali#

The example of worldly life ..

Throughout the Quran, Allah gives many examples of what the world of this life is to us. I'd like to share one of these ayats with you and encourage you to ponder over it.

Surah Yunus, (10:24)

"The example of [this] worldly life is but like rain which We have sent down from the sky that the plants of the earth absorb - [those] from which men and livestock eat - until, when the earth has taken on its adornment and is beautified and its people suppose that they have capability over it, there comes to it Our command by night or by day, and We make it as a harvest, as if it had not flourished yesterday. Thus do We explain in detail the signs for a people who give thought."

Take it or leave it

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you've found yourself on the receiving end of advice without ever asking for it? Pretty sure it has happened plenty a time for most of us. Some of us take it well whilst others not so well. The following post is more about how we should react instead of how we give the advice.

We often have our downs and it is a part of life. Others close to us, whilst observing can notice when we feel down and often offer their support. At least once, we have all felt so irritated that we do not wish to speak to anyone let alone receive any support. We're in one of those, 'Leave me alone!' moods. It's okay, we've all been there! Sometimes we need to just stop and think that the person offering support, is only wishing the best for us.

I have noticed a lot, from either the mouths of others or whilst stalking on Twitter (I do this a lot), that many do not respond to such advice so well. Either intentions are doubted by assuming the giver is trying to act superior than the other or it is simply not appreciated.

From my stance, I welcome any advice and feel any sort of advice given can be beneficial in some way or the other. If someone gives us advice, we should not doubt their intentions. We should always assume the best of others. Maybe if we sat and contemplated the advice we are given, we may be able to utilise it in a way we wouldn't have comprehended before. Doubting intentions can often lead to assuming bad characteristics. Having this seed of doubt can ruin any relation and this is Shaitaan messing with the head.

The solution I propose, whether you are in a calm state or not, is to listen it out. Listen to what the person has to say, appreciate it and take it at face value. It is not for us to doubt intentions. Whether we want to take the advice on board is up to us. It's a simple 'take it or leave it' and get on with life, happy and cheerful!

Ramadan Diary - Day 20

This was a long time coming, but here we are. Day 20 of the blessed month of Ramadan, and I am sure every single one of us will say, "It has gone too quick". I urge everyone to make the most of the last 10 days, as you may never live to live amongst this great month ever again. But the point of this post isn't about the last 10 days of Ramadan. In fact, it's about the atrocities taking place in Gaza, and all around the world at this moment in time.

To start off, I make a dua that Allah keeps the people of our Ummah suffering around the world strong and steadfast and allows us to come to their aid in any way, shape or form. To reduce the suffering and pain of every single person and to unite us all in protecting and valuing human life.

'Valuing human life', is exactly what is not happening right now. We have all questioned these 'World leaders', and the stance they are taking and quite frankly they are doing nothing. To be able to watch what is happening around the world and not do anything to help, yet claim 'authority' around the world, is baffling to the average human. Without a doubt, (wrongly in my opinion), they have so to say, 'control' over the world and let's face it, if a matter has no benefit for these world leaders, they will not step in.

Over the past few weeks and previously regarding other atrocities, I have noticed a lot of individuals 'slandering' these leaders for doing nothing. From my perspective, it has been a lot from Twitter and Muslims (as they are the bulk of the people I follow). By slandering, I mean I have seen people say, "They will taste the punishment of Allah", or "Wait until your time comes" (Punishment of Allah of course) and this is something that irritates me and go against my own principles and values.

First of all, I'd like to share my own views and then also share a little story. I do not think as Muslims, regardless of what is happening around the world, we should be condemning people to Hell or saying with certainty that certain people will taste the punishment of Allah. How perfect are we ourselves? Nevermind condemning someone else, look back at your own day. What have you done that makes you so certain of a place in Jannah? You may have done something in the day which Allah will hold you accountable that you are oblivious to. Should we not spend our time asking for forgiveness for ourselves rather than condemning someone else? What benefit is there to yourself condemning someone else?

In addition to this, I have a second point which I hope to put across with a little story.
During the early years of the initial stage of giving da'wah to the Qurasysh, the early Muslims faced great hardship. Cutting a long story short, the Prophet s.a.w told those who could, to migrate to Abyssinia. At this point in time, Umar ibn Al-Khattab r.a was one of Islam's fiercest enemies. The story involves one of four couples who initially migrated; Amir ibn Ar-Rabbia and his wife Laila.
It is narrated that Laila was packing her bags and loading the camel. Umar ibn Al-Khattab passes by and notices they are travelling. So he asks,
"Where are you travelling?", as it is not the season of trade. You can imagine at this point Laila's temper rising. Leaving her home land, to some far away land, with people that are not her own and she snaps at him in anger.
"This is all because of you! And your terrorising of us and your persecution of us, just because we want to worship Allah! Because of your persecution, we have to go somewhere else and find a land where we can worship Allah in."
Instead of getting angry, she noticed for the first time in his eyes, some compassion. And he said to her,
"Has the matter reached that level?" (Meaning he never thought it was that bad). And then he said,
"May Allah be with you", and he walks on his way.
Completely flabbergasted, seeing a side of Umar she has never seen before. So when her husband came back home, in excitement she narrated the story and said,
"Umar showed some compassion!" Her husband snorted in contempt and said,
"Do you really think he will be merciful to us and accept Islam? Wallahi! the donkey's of his fathers house will embrace Islam before he does!"
We all know what happened after this and the position Umar ibn Al-Khattab r.a has in our religion.

From the above story, a moral I can derive is to never condemn anyone. Relating back to today, these 'leaders' some of us tend to condemn, what's to say they will not be the next Umar ibn Al-Khattab? Isn't this story and indication to us all to leave matters regarding the hereafter to Allah and Allah alone? If Allah guides, who can be misguided and if Allah does not guide, who can ever be guided? I think as Muslims we should never condemn anyone but instead, why not make dua and say,
"Oh Allah, help Islam by guided the leaders of the world and to help us in our cause".
You lose out nothing!

I hope you all keep the Muslim Ummah in your prayers in this blessed month and with all the charities coming to the foreground, give as much as you can! Allah will give you black plenty in return and one fundraiser profile I'd like to help put out there is through the following link; https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/freedomforpalestine ..

Until next time, Salaam.

Ramadan Diary - Day 3

It's day three of this year's Ramadan, and whilst it was on my mind for a while, I thought I'd share what I get up to in this month should anything interesting happen. Just for the record, I attempted this as a video but I found it so weird I decided to stick with my blogs!

Saturday night was the first night of Tarawee prayers for those who started fasting on Sunday. The highlight of this prayer isn't just listening to the recitation of the Qur'an, but the men reciting. Hafeez's are in my opinion, the greatest men alive! Of course Shaheed's have a high rank, but they are of those moved on to the next world. On Saturday, as I sat in the Masjid waiting for the arrival of the Hafeez's, the first one arrived. I sat in the second row so I could stay as close to them as possible. I sat there just looking at him, at his back, and that moment felt so amazing, to be close to someone loved so much by the Lord of the Worlds, I almost cried. The tears built up as I was taken in awe.

A Hafeez is like a walking, talking, Qur'an! The endless days and nights they spent trying to memorise the book of Allah, just puts into perspective their persistence in achieving what they have achieved. And if you don't feel a positive jealousy over them, I think there's something wrong with you.

When I was younger, my granddad had taken me to a guy to help make me become a Hafeez. But at that moment in time, the man said I was too young and to come back in a couple of years. I don't know why, but I was never taken back. I guess the illnesses my granddad was facing an increase in and the simple reason my family didn't really push it, it was never meant to be. This is one thing I regret looking back at my 'short life', that I wish I could go back and do. Of course it's never too late, but the younger you are, the easier it is to memorise things. For e.g. a four year old can learn four languages simultaneously with ease and comfort as oppose to someone much older. But an aim I have is to memorise as much of the Qur'an I can by myself because I actually have great photographic memory. Who knows, maybe one day In Shaa Allah, I can feel a part of these great men..

During prayers, we were coming back up from a Sajdah and I headbutted the Hafeez in front of me! As awkward as it felt, I just felt like that accidental collision, was Allah's way of saying, "Here, take some blessings off him."

After the prayers finished, one of the Hafeez's shook my hand. He is an acquaintance but I like to call him my friend because it makes me feel a little prestigious. But I know him from the petrol station we use to fill the cars up. But when I shook his hand, as weird as it is to say, I didn't want to wash my hands ever again! The blessings I felt like I received from him at that moment, made me feel as if all my sins may have been forgiven! Words can't describe how special these men are to me.

Taking a backward step, before Ramadan we all have personal goals/aims we want to achieve. One goal I had was to start attending the Masjid for prayers regularly whenever I can. I used to pray at home with my granddad and he started to urge me to go to the Masjid in order to gain more reward for praying in congregation. After a delay of a few weeks of him nagging me, I decided to go for it. I always planned to do this, but didn't think I'd do it now. It has been four weeks since I started attending prayers at the Masjid whenever I could and it feels as if I've already achieved my goal before Ramadan even started!

I also tend to go with the flow. If I see myself changing a certain part of my daily activities, because of Ramadan, I look at it like, why not stop this forever or continue this forever depending on if it is something avoidable or something I should do more.
This is how I make my goals but I want to know what you all do! What are your goals and objectives and how are you going about achieving them? It'll be nice to know what you are all getting up to so just send me an @ on Twitter (@TheFursaan) or pop a DM and maybe I could write about what you all are doing which could help someone else along the line? Who knows!
Until next time, I hope you all find this month easy and gain an abundance in blessings from our Lord!

The Prophets Dua

The deaths of Khadija r.a and Abu Talib had taken it's toll. With Abu Lahab's 'advisers' ensuring his protection towards the Prophet s.a.w. was taken back, high up the mountains lay the city of Ta'if, who would mock and ridicule the initial call to Islam. Pelting him with stones, they would drive him out of the city leaving him in a state of shock.

With blood soaking his sandals, he found some shelter under a tree and raised his hands to Allah. Some scholars have said, this is a dua whose words are enough to show it has come from the heart of a Prophet.

"O Allah! To you I complain of my weakness in strength. And my helplessness before men.
You are The Most Merciful of all those who have mercy. And you are the Lord of those who are humble.
And you are my Lord.
To whom do you leave me with O Allah? To somebody who's a stranger, who's going to treat me harshly, or to a close relative to whom you have given power over me?
As long as you are not angry with me, then I don't care.
Except for the fact that your protection from tribulation, your ease and comfort, this is more easy for me.
O Allah! I seek refuge in your face, your face that is the source of all the light, that releases darkness and because of which all of the affairs of this world and the next are rightly guided.
I seek refuge in your face that your anger comes down upon me or your wrath envelopes me.
It is your right to criticise until you are content.
And there is no power or change, except with you and through you"

Almost instantaneously, the Prophet s.a.w's dua was answered..

The remembrance of Allah

Surah Al-Baqara, (2:152)
"So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me."

One of my favourite verses from the Quran filled with utmost profundity. The message within is quite clear.

Over the course of our lives, we will face many trials and tribulations. Some greater than others. Some trials lengthier than others. I'm sure we have all come to a point where we just thought, "Why are my prayers never answered?". Well I have many times and if there are some reading this who are thinking they haven't experienced this, well you're one of the blessed people.

Many times throughout my short life, this question propped up in my mind. What was I doing wrong? Why am I being rejected? Will I ever get an answer? The message is quite clear. "So remember Me; I will remember you." What is this remembrance? Surely Allah was always on my mind? Surely I thought of Allah when asking for these trials to be removed? Surely I relied upon him during hard times? But after pondering, I realised this was not remembrance. This was merely a form of 'using someone', as we might say.

True remembrance is during times of ease. I remember when I passed my theory test at the second attempt, my dad said to me, "Now that you've passed, don't forget to thank Allah." Although, I always did, I questioned myself what this thanking actually meant. Remembering Allah during times of ease is the key to the answer of future prayers. Think of a friend for example. If you had a friend who you never spoke to and suddenly one day you get a phone call off them and they said, "Salaam Akhi/ Salaam Ukthi. I'm in some difficulty, can you borrow me a couple of hundred pounds?".
Immediately you would think, "I haven't spoken to you in so many weeks/months and you come to me for help now? To use me and then forget me?" Almost certainly you would question giving any aid to them.
However, take this friend, but now think of it like you always maintain contact. Every other day you chat asking about each other's well being, family, life, always maintaining the relationship you have. Now if they phoned you asking for help, wouldn't you help? Or would you question yourselves? Almost certainly this time round, you wouldn't think twice and offer support because you know this friend isn't using you.

Now try and transfer this thought to Allah. If you never remember Allah when you are all fine and dandy, what makes you think support in times of difficulty will come onto a gold plate? This is a lesson I learnt. Have a conversation with Allah. Tell Allah how grateful you are of all the things he has bestowed you with. Tell Allah the plans you have in your mind (Of course Allah already knows this), whatever you want! But by doing this you show appreciation at times of ease and this is the true remembrance of Allah. The more we invoke ourselves in the remembrance of Allah, the more likely it is, during times of difficulty, our duas shall be answered In Shaa Allah and of course what I have mentioned above isn't the only way of remembering Allah, but I hope the message has been put across.

Forgive me for any mistakes I may have made in this post, and remember me in your duas In Shaa Allah..

Ramadhan stories - Leaving the bad

It's that time of year again where Ramadhan is almost upon us! In Shaa Allah, we have long enough lives to be able to survive for and throughout this years Ramadhan and many more to come. I thought, with it approaching in under 3months time, I should share a small story.

As Ramadhan approaches, we all think of 'bad' habits we should leave. Why? Because we know they are sins we commit and can avoid doing so. I'd like to share a little story with you that lead to me making a decision during last years Ramadhan, that I would not regret.

When I was younger, my Saturday routines used to consist of going to Kung Fu training at 12pm. Prior to that I used to wake up around 9am, without fail. It was like a biological clock; my system was used to it. I had three hours to kill and used to switch on the TV in my room and flick through channels as you do, watching 'Dick & Dom in Da Bungalow', or 'TMI', you know the usual. Sundays didn't have that much of a variety, but anyhow, I used to watch 'Hollyoaks Omnibus'. I got quite into it, watched it for a couple of years. As I got a little older and soon started work when I was 16, I didn't get those early weekend mornings to watch it you see. I'm not those type of people that can get hooked onto something and become an addict. I can let go of things very easily so it didn't phase me not watching it.

It wasn't until we got Sky+ in the house that I eventually found the urge to start watching 'Hollyoaks' again. The wonders of recording ability eh? I would record episodes continuously, even including 'Neighbours'. Sometimes I would be so busy with college work, I'd find myself 4-5 episodes behind but nevertheless managed to make time and catch up on all that I missed out on. At one point, I was 20 episodes behind!
I was into this like never before. I had been watching it for almost a year continuously, now completely an expert.

As you may have read in my previous posts, my Grandmas death came about in September 2012 which changed me for the better in my opinion. This coincided with the death of 'Riley' if I remember correctly? As you may have experienced, deaths in the family can cause wonders to oneself. I didn't involve my time in watching 'Hollyoaks' for around 3months until I started the same routine again. This is when something clicked.

Those of you who may have watched 'Hollyoaks' or still do, would have realised by now how much 'Sexualisation' there is in the programme and you can'y deny it. Even if the story lines are interesting. As some change occured in me with my Grandma's death, if I didn't realise before, I realised now. Looking at the way the media had used this as a technique to get you engrossed, I realised it was wrong to watch this and I had to stop.

It wasn't until Ramadhan of last year that I finally gave it up. How so?

As I was fasting on one of the first few days of Ramadhan, I realised because of all this 'Sexualisation' and me watching it, could jeopardise the validity of my fast. Now I haven't taken any rulings on this, so don't quote me, but isn't it obvious here? What we shouldn't do ourselves, isn't something we should enjoy watching either. So I knew it was wrong and stop watching it I did. Then I had a little moment with myself. Would I continue watching this after Ramadhan when I'm not fasting because of course then I am not fasting. But then, wouldn't the sin still be present? I had made my mind.

Right then and there, I gave up watching and type of soaps and drama's that were not only sinful to watch, but a whole waste of time. The thought came upon me that, if something is prohibited for me to do during Ramadhan, it is obviously prohibited after it too! And since that day, I have never sat in front of the TV, to watch 'Hollyoaks' and 'Neighbours' again. This of course applies to anything else you may find personal to you, in terms of giving things up in Ramadhan.

The message I want to give across to all of you who are reading is that you may not watch 'Hollyoaks' or 'Neighbours', but you may watch things like 'Eastenders' or Indian dramas, but the question I want to pose to you is, what benefit does it bring to you? How does watching 'Eastenders' benefit you or your deen in any way shape or form? These programmes bring our Imaan down. Program like 'Eastenders' love to portray Muslims and Islam often causing outrage. Why give these programmes the attention they crave? If we all gave it up and concentrated on bettering ourselves, we would all be in a better place.

Give them up before it's too late. If something is bad in Ramadhan, it is bad during the rest of the year too.

Thank you for taking your time in reading my blog post. Remember, I am only a tweet away @TheFursaan! And don't forget to vote on my World Cup blog on the side of this page!

Making sacrifices for the sake of Allah

What has motivated me to write this blog post is the constant swearing I see all over the TL on Twitter. Whether it is verbal or not, swearing is swearing and it is something I despise. I'm not going to sit here and say that I have never swore in my life, in fact, swearing was a very bad habit that I myself used to do a lot, and I sincerely hope that Allah can forgive me for my past. Essentially what made me give up swearing, and in my opinion change as a person, was the death of my grandma however, that is a story I may share some other day with you. The story I shall share with you, is about something which I consider to be part of my identity.

12years ago, during the 2002 World Cup, it was the first time I can remember I was exposed to Football. Going into primary school early morning to watch the games on a big screen was when I felt a sense of joy as a kid. Then once more during Euro 2004 and this was when the famous David Beckham was known to me. The hairstyle's he would come up with would play a part of what I myself would consider a part of my identity. Ever since a young age, since watching Beckham, I have always tried to emulate him whether it be the way he plays or his hairstyle's. Since the age of 10, I started spiking up my hair and even to this day, spiking up my hair is part of who I am. You may find this weird and even think what does this have anything to do with sacrificing anything for Allah, but I assure you I shall get there. 

Moving on, after the Euro 2004, the 2004/05 season was when I started watching football properly and it was something by chance. I was flicking through the channels and came across Gary Lineker with football. As he said, "Join us again, same time next week", this is when I found out the show name (MOTD), what time it came on and thus my footballing passion began. Some may think of football as just 'another sport', or just watch the few big games. But this was, and is something different for me. Football eventually became part of who I am. Beginning at primary school, I was one of the better players and also captained my school team to a Birmingham schools final, which if we had won, we would've got a chance to play at Goodison Park! But we lost. 

The move up to secondary school was quite daunting as most of you will remember. I'm not the most sociable of people but Football has helped me make friends of many kinds. My first task as a year 7 kid, was to join the football team. I used to be an attacking player at primary school, but found the ego of the new kids at secondary level bigger than mine and found myself chosen to play as a 'left back'. It was quite upsetting for me but it was also something I took under the chin. I had grown into my position over the school year and had almost scored the first goal for my year group in our very first match! But it wasn't to be. I became almost a player the manager and team mates could rely on at the back to put in a decent performance. Eventually, I was placed at 'right back' and grew even higher in my status as a defender for the school team. One of my closest friends from infants school later got himself excluded, and the 'centre back' position now became available.

As most 'football geeks' will know, being at the heart of the defence allows the control of the game. It is almost as if you have a birds eye view of hat is going around you and eventually my leadership skills starting shining once more. The control of the play was being dictated more and more by me, not in the football sense, but more in the organisation. I became what you would a 'rock at the back'. Often being referred to as 'John Terry'. I vied for the captaincy and even had backing from most of my team mates. They all knew I was starting to take control and even one teacher noticed how much I was starting to shine. At the end of the school year, at the awards presentation, I was handed the 'Football of the Year' award! This was the start of my legacy. 

As soon as year 9 arrived, I was handed the captaincy. It was a real honour for me to hold. Leading out my school against others was something to be proud of. Maybe I couldn't get to Beckham's level, but at the level I was playing at, this was an achievement in itself. I became almost invincible at the back. There was hardly anyone that could get past me and this lead to something rather amazing. My teacher offered to arrange a trial type thingymabob at Birmingham City F.C. It wasn't quite a trial, but there were only a few other boys, from years below me, that also got this opportunity. Nothing came of it but it was something I am still very proud of. By the end of year 9, I had managed to take the team to a round further in the cup than we had managed in the previous two years, and on my first game as captain, lead them to their biggest win. My performances had granted me at this years awards ceremony, the 'Junior Footballer of The Year' for Year 7, 8 and 9 combined! My name would be etched in that shield forever. 

As every little boy dreams of become a footballer, this dream started to fade away as I realised the ideal time was getting away from me thus stopped in a sense dreaming of becoming a footballer. I remained captain for the remainder of Year 10 also but I got involved in a part of my past that I very much regret. My form started to dip and by the end of Year 10, the 'Footballer of the Year' award was given to someone else. My captaincy was on the line and we knew we would have a new manager at the start of year 11 too. The captaincy was given to someone else and that was a hard hit for me. We only played one game that year, but it was still a game. I wasn't the same player. 

When we started sixth form, I decided that I would buckle my ideas up again. As you may have sense now, football is a very big part of who I am. We played one game in my first year at sixth form but I played my part. As the older lads left for Uni, the captaincy was given to me. I would lead the sixth form team for two years and achieve my first ever trophy whilst playing for the school, achieved our biggest ever win of 13-0, and I would be the only player in school history, to have played in every game of every minute, from year 7 up until my 3years at sixth form! No one else, has this right they can uphold apart from me. There was one blip though. I have always started games but never ever was taken off as a sub. We were winning 0-5 away from home in our first game as second year sixth form, and the manager decided to take me off for the last five minutes! Unknowingly, he had broken a part of my history record!! But I forgive him. 

During my last year at sixth form, something tragic happen. The death of my grandma. This hit me really hard and her story is something I may share with you some time in the future. Her death changed me completely. It made me realise what the purpose of this life was. All the wrong I did, I had to stop. My interest in football decreased, and the reason for this, I shall bring up later. For a full year after her death, I felt like I needed to change myself completely and went bald for a whole year and it actually felt amazing! You may think, what is the big deal going bald. But my hair, was part of my identity. It was what I grew up doing, spiking my hair. It was who I was. And I also started analysing my own character. As previously mentioned, swearing was a bad habit of mine. It wasn't as bad as you may assume, but it was bad. I realised I had to change.

When I looked at where I used to swear the most, it was the football field. Were a few words, going to make me now ignore the sins it was causing which were previously ignored? Of course not. My grandma's death made me realise, even though it was always in my head, that I shall be accounted for every little thing I do. I had to give this swearing up. If it meant giving up football, a part of myself, a part of my identity, then so be it. I was determined!

My companions all noticed the change in me, and how much of a less interest I was putting in. I even, so to say, 'announced' my retirement. Everyone knew I was going to stop playing how I used to. But no one, until now, knew the real reason. This may all seem quite dramatic so to say, but it was the only way I could start to stop and 'fix' myself for the sake of Allah. Let me just point out, that when I say football is a part of me, it truly is. I don't just watch the Premier League, I can watch any match, in any part of the world whether that be non-league football or football from America and still enjoy it with the same passion as I do watching the team I support. Not many can do that. Most can only enjoy football they are familiar with r so to say' entertaining' football, but any football match is entertaining for me. Football for me was to watch and to play. 

Giving up football meant that I stopped the playing side and the watching side, the interest started to dwindle. Why was this done? To help stop me from swearing and getting out of this bad habit. Cutting a very long story short, it is almost two years since my grandma passed away, and I request you all to pray for her, but I can now say that I am in a position, where I do play the often football game with my mates. My swearing has come to a dramatic halt but one or two words do slip out on the field. Most of my vocabulary has changed to words like 'Bismillah' or 'Astagfirullah' on the field of play but I am also very cautious not to slip again and this is also the point I am trying to put across. 

Giving up something for the sake of Allah has many rewards and takes a lot of time. I am not here trying to boast about my achievements, but merely trying to push those who do swear, in the direction to stop. A few words whether said verbally or written on Twitter can be catastrophic! It ruins your character and your Imaan in ways you cannot imagine. Moreover, are you not embarrassed of yourself by remembering the angels on your shoulders? Who write very word and action you say and do? It was important for me to write my footballing memories because it gave you all a sense of how much this sacrifice meant for me. It was giving up a part of who I am for the sake of Allah, and only then can you appreciate the message I am trying to put across. It doesn't only have to be swearing. Anything you perceive as a bad habit yourself, give it up over time and slowly but surely, you will notice the difference in your character.

I thank you for your patience and time for reading my blog post and hope you can all benefit from it in even the slightest of ways. Should you wish to message me, feel free to mention me, @TheFursaan, on Twitter. Kepp me in your dua's along with the rest of the Ummah. Yallah Bismillah! 

P.S I have grown my hair back and started to spike it once more :D

"Show effort before attaining the gold."

"It is not in the nature of Allah to give you what you want on a gold plate. You have to show some effort before attaining the gold".

A quote from myself which means a lot to me. How often do we raise our hands to Allah and ask for something but lose hope when our duas are not answer instantly? Something I have myself been guilty off in the past. However, we must all remember that Allah does answer our prayers. If Allah doesn't answer directly, opportunities are given to us to fulfil them.

How so? I think it was an Arabic proverb I heard, "Tie your camel before and then place Tawwakul in Allah". How true this is. When we ask for high grades in our studies for example, we may think Allah didn't answer our prayers and lose trust. Back to the proverb, did you tie your camel? Allah gives us the opportunity to get what we want. If we do not put effort into our studies, with revision, with extra work to work towards getting the high grades we want, how could it be possible that our duas will be answered? Once you have tied your camel, have trust in Allah that he will take care of the rest. You sit your exams with the best of preparations, answer the questions to the best of your ability, and then you leave the rest to Allah to take care of and In Shaa Allah our duas will be answered.

One thing we must all remember, is to thank Allah afterwards no matter what the outcome. Once duas are answered, many of us forget thanking the one who granted our wishes/dreams and turned them into reality. Anyone can ask and ask and ask until they get what they want. But who will keep thanking and thanking and thanking after they get what they have asked for? It is to those who Allah will place infinite mercy upon. So let's just all take a moment and just say Alhamdulillah!

With exams coming up shortly for most of us, this was a thought running through my head and I thought it would be helpful sharing a little part of my mind to everyone. Just remember to tie your camel and leave the rest to Allah. Once you get what you want, be thankful too!

I hope you'll take time and read my future blog posts. I am only a tweet away @TheFursaan! :)

Just another sinful slave

For those of who are always worried about the present determining our future, have you ever had a phase where you just feel so low and begin to believe there is no way out? 

I am at a stage where I feel as if I and drowning in my own sins. As if the Shaitaan himself has a hold of me which I'm finding extremely hard to fight. He senses my willingness to change and always comes up with new techniques to stop me from progressing. Every one step forward I make, he drags me back another two. I keep telling myself that it's just a phase and I will get over it but deep down I'm thinking, "For how much longer will this last?".

I know some of you may be thinking or would advise me to; do zikr, make dua, repent, the usual. But have you ever felt so low that you feel embarrassed to raise your hands up to Allah and ask for forgiveness or feel unworthy of being granted that forgiveness? No doubt Imaan fluctuates, but that drop needs a very soon climb and a climb I am determined to do and do so soon.

I don't know what else to write at this particular moment in time, but I do request you all to keep me in your duas and no doubt In Shaa Allah, once I get past this 'phase', there will be no looking back.

I hope you'll take time and read my future blog posts. If you ever wish to talk, I am only a tweet away @TheFursaan.

"Brothers and Sisters in Islam"

"Brothers and Sisters in Islam". A simple quote but one which's meaning can be great. No doubt a quote which we have all come across at least once. It's all good calling each other akhi or ukthi over social networking sites or in person but what is the deeper meaning?

When the Prophet (s.a.w) migrated to Madinah, he had said to the Muhajiroon and the Ansaar that, "You are all brothers in Islam." This was taken so literally that one Ansaar who was partnered with a Muhajir, told him that whatever is mine is yours and was even prepared to give one of his wives to the Muhajir (Cannot remember the names of the Sahabi off the top of my head).

My point being, it irritates me a little if someone calls me "Brother" whether it be it a boy or girl, simply because once you call me your "brother", unless I can fulfill my duties as a brother towards you, I find it a disrespect to the term. Some only use the term to either 'sister zone' or 'brother zone' someone which is just ridiculous. A total mockery of the whole concept. You may think it trivial, but this is a matter that means a lot more to me than a quote. Therefore, I would appreciate if you do not label me as your 'brother' unless I can fulfill my brotherly duties towards you.

I hope you'll take time and read my future blog posts. If you ever wish to talk, I am only a tweet away @TheFursaan :)

Enter the Fursaan

Welcome.

Welcome to what entertains the possibility of entering a whole new world and dimension. A dimension that is, of a very clouded mind. A mind of the intrigued, a mind of a wanderer. Where questions arise and opinions are kept to oneself. Never have I expressed myself they way I propose to do so, but express myself I shall.

At a point in life where I see myself beginning to question my surroundings and what role I have to play, I hope to give you a slightly humbled view of my own life and thoughts as a simple way of expressing myself. Some of you may know me personally, or from previously speaking to me. However, I do not wish to reveal my true identity which some may find a tad bit weird but nevertheless, you can call me 'Fursaan'.

As this is just an intro, I hope you'll all take time and read my future blog posts where you will enter the mind of the Fursaan. If you ever wish to talk, I am only a tweet away @TheFursaan, so don't be in two minds, I enjoy interaction :)