For those of who are always worried about the present determining our future, have you ever had a phase where you just feel so low and begin to believe there is no way out?
I am at a stage where I feel as if I and drowning in my own sins. As if the Shaitaan himself has a hold of me which I'm finding extremely hard to fight. He senses my willingness to change and always comes up with new techniques to stop me from progressing. Every one step forward I make, he drags me back another two. I keep telling myself that it's just a phase and I will get over it but deep down I'm thinking, "For how much longer will this last?".
I know some of you may be thinking or would advise me to; do zikr, make dua, repent, the usual. But have you ever felt so low that you feel embarrassed to raise your hands up to Allah and ask for forgiveness or feel unworthy of being granted that forgiveness? No doubt Imaan fluctuates, but that drop needs a very soon climb and a climb I am determined to do and do so soon.
I don't know what else to write at this particular moment in time, but I do request you all to keep me in your duas and no doubt In Shaa Allah, once I get past this 'phase', there will be no looking back.
I hope you'll take time and read my future blog posts. If you ever wish to talk, I am only a tweet away @TheFursaan.
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