12years ago, during the 2002 World Cup, it was the first time I can remember I was exposed to Football. Going into primary school early morning to watch the games on a big screen was when I felt a sense of joy as a kid. Then once more during Euro 2004 and this was when the famous David Beckham was known to me. The hairstyle's he would come up with would play a part of what I myself would consider a part of my identity. Ever since a young age, since watching Beckham, I have always tried to emulate him whether it be the way he plays or his hairstyle's. Since the age of 10, I started spiking up my hair and even to this day, spiking up my hair is part of who I am. You may find this weird and even think what does this have anything to do with sacrificing anything for Allah, but I assure you I shall get there.
Moving on, after the Euro 2004, the 2004/05 season was when I started watching football properly and it was something by chance. I was flicking through the channels and came across Gary Lineker with football. As he said, "Join us again, same time next week", this is when I found out the show name (MOTD), what time it came on and thus my footballing passion began. Some may think of football as just 'another sport', or just watch the few big games. But this was, and is something different for me. Football eventually became part of who I am. Beginning at primary school, I was one of the better players and also captained my school team to a Birmingham schools final, which if we had won, we would've got a chance to play at Goodison Park! But we lost.
The move up to secondary school was quite daunting as most of you will remember. I'm not the most sociable of people but Football has helped me make friends of many kinds. My first task as a year 7 kid, was to join the football team. I used to be an attacking player at primary school, but found the ego of the new kids at secondary level bigger than mine and found myself chosen to play as a 'left back'. It was quite upsetting for me but it was also something I took under the chin. I had grown into my position over the school year and had almost scored the first goal for my year group in our very first match! But it wasn't to be. I became almost a player the manager and team mates could rely on at the back to put in a decent performance. Eventually, I was placed at 'right back' and grew even higher in my status as a defender for the school team. One of my closest friends from infants school later got himself excluded, and the 'centre back' position now became available.
As most 'football geeks' will know, being at the heart of the defence allows the control of the game. It is almost as if you have a birds eye view of hat is going around you and eventually my leadership skills starting shining once more. The control of the play was being dictated more and more by me, not in the football sense, but more in the organisation. I became what you would a 'rock at the back'. Often being referred to as 'John Terry'. I vied for the captaincy and even had backing from most of my team mates. They all knew I was starting to take control and even one teacher noticed how much I was starting to shine. At the end of the school year, at the awards presentation, I was handed the 'Football of the Year' award! This was the start of my legacy.
As soon as year 9 arrived, I was handed the captaincy. It was a real honour for me to hold. Leading out my school against others was something to be proud of. Maybe I couldn't get to Beckham's level, but at the level I was playing at, this was an achievement in itself. I became almost invincible at the back. There was hardly anyone that could get past me and this lead to something rather amazing. My teacher offered to arrange a trial type thingymabob at Birmingham City F.C. It wasn't quite a trial, but there were only a few other boys, from years below me, that also got this opportunity. Nothing came of it but it was something I am still very proud of. By the end of year 9, I had managed to take the team to a round further in the cup than we had managed in the previous two years, and on my first game as captain, lead them to their biggest win. My performances had granted me at this years awards ceremony, the 'Junior Footballer of The Year' for Year 7, 8 and 9 combined! My name would be etched in that shield forever.
As every little boy dreams of become a footballer, this dream started to fade away as I realised the ideal time was getting away from me thus stopped in a sense dreaming of becoming a footballer. I remained captain for the remainder of Year 10 also but I got involved in a part of my past that I very much regret. My form started to dip and by the end of Year 10, the 'Footballer of the Year' award was given to someone else. My captaincy was on the line and we knew we would have a new manager at the start of year 11 too. The captaincy was given to someone else and that was a hard hit for me. We only played one game that year, but it was still a game. I wasn't the same player.
When we started sixth form, I decided that I would buckle my ideas up again. As you may have sense now, football is a very big part of who I am. We played one game in my first year at sixth form but I played my part. As the older lads left for Uni, the captaincy was given to me. I would lead the sixth form team for two years and achieve my first ever trophy whilst playing for the school, achieved our biggest ever win of 13-0, and I would be the only player in school history, to have played in every game of every minute, from year 7 up until my 3years at sixth form! No one else, has this right they can uphold apart from me. There was one blip though. I have always started games but never ever was taken off as a sub. We were winning 0-5 away from home in our first game as second year sixth form, and the manager decided to take me off for the last five minutes! Unknowingly, he had broken a part of my history record!! But I forgive him.
During my last year at sixth form, something tragic happen. The death of my grandma. This hit me really hard and her story is something I may share with you some time in the future. Her death changed me completely. It made me realise what the purpose of this life was. All the wrong I did, I had to stop. My interest in football decreased, and the reason for this, I shall bring up later. For a full year after her death, I felt like I needed to change myself completely and went bald for a whole year and it actually felt amazing! You may think, what is the big deal going bald. But my hair, was part of my identity. It was what I grew up doing, spiking my hair. It was who I was. And I also started analysing my own character. As previously mentioned, swearing was a bad habit of mine. It wasn't as bad as you may assume, but it was bad. I realised I had to change.
When I looked at where I used to swear the most, it was the football field. Were a few words, going to make me now ignore the sins it was causing which were previously ignored? Of course not. My grandma's death made me realise, even though it was always in my head, that I shall be accounted for every little thing I do. I had to give this swearing up. If it meant giving up football, a part of myself, a part of my identity, then so be it. I was determined!
My companions all noticed the change in me, and how much of a less interest I was putting in. I even, so to say, 'announced' my retirement. Everyone knew I was going to stop playing how I used to. But no one, until now, knew the real reason. This may all seem quite dramatic so to say, but it was the only way I could start to stop and 'fix' myself for the sake of Allah. Let me just point out, that when I say football is a part of me, it truly is. I don't just watch the Premier League, I can watch any match, in any part of the world whether that be non-league football or football from America and still enjoy it with the same passion as I do watching the team I support. Not many can do that. Most can only enjoy football they are familiar with r so to say' entertaining' football, but any football match is entertaining for me. Football for me was to watch and to play.
Giving up football meant that I stopped the playing side and the watching side, the interest started to dwindle. Why was this done? To help stop me from swearing and getting out of this bad habit. Cutting a very long story short, it is almost two years since my grandma passed away, and I request you all to pray for her, but I can now say that I am in a position, where I do play the often football game with my mates. My swearing has come to a dramatic halt but one or two words do slip out on the field. Most of my vocabulary has changed to words like 'Bismillah' or 'Astagfirullah' on the field of play but I am also very cautious not to slip again and this is also the point I am trying to put across.
Giving up something for the sake of Allah has many rewards and takes a lot of time. I am not here trying to boast about my achievements, but merely trying to push those who do swear, in the direction to stop. A few words whether said verbally or written on Twitter can be catastrophic! It ruins your character and your Imaan in ways you cannot imagine. Moreover, are you not embarrassed of yourself by remembering the angels on your shoulders? Who write very word and action you say and do? It was important for me to write my footballing memories because it gave you all a sense of how much this sacrifice meant for me. It was giving up a part of who I am for the sake of Allah, and only then can you appreciate the message I am trying to put across. It doesn't only have to be swearing. Anything you perceive as a bad habit yourself, give it up over time and slowly but surely, you will notice the difference in your character.
I thank you for your patience and time for reading my blog post and hope you can all benefit from it in even the slightest of ways. Should you wish to message me, feel free to mention me, @TheFursaan, on Twitter. Kepp me in your dua's along with the rest of the Ummah. Yallah Bismillah!
P.S I have grown my hair back and started to spike it once more :D
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